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re: Should I discuss my condition with my boyfriend before we get intimate ? Jul. 27th, 2006 5:49pm
It's been five months since I posted my original question (I'm 18 now, so no need to worry about age of consent), and thought I'd let people know what is going on with this issue. Jeff and I are still together, he's the most wonderful young man in the world. We actually had a discussion about CAH when I broke my foot a a dance competition in April. I needed to be taken to the ER, and he went with me. The ER nurse asked about chronic medical issues, and I knew I needed the stress dose so I told her the truth. After my foot was treated and put in a boot-type cast, Jeff brought me home.A few days later, he asked about my condition, and I explained it as simply as I could. I focused mostly on the need to take medications and to be careful if I got sick or hurt. As the topic was on the table, I continued to discuss CAH, explaining that the lack of an enzyme also causes an increase in androgen levels and that can cause some physical differences. He was concerned, but not in a bad way. I then gathered up my courage and told him that because of the CAH, my clitoris was larger than typical. I also told him that I was worried that he would be "grossed out" by the size. He assured me that anything like that wouldn't bother him, and that it was only a small part of who I was. We still have not had sex, both of us are willing to wait until we are sure we are ready.We may wait until marriage, we may wait until next week, but we'll be comfortable with our decision. This summer we have often gone swimming together and last week he saw my erect clitoris through my swimsuit. I was embarrassed and tried to cover it up, but he just hugged me and said not to worry, he loves me as I am. I start college in the fall and look forward to more learning experiences.
