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I am an 18-year-old girl who is currently in a very loving and deep relationship with a guy who I've been with for over a year now. Yet recently, some issues have been causing some conflict in my relationship and it is because of me. I told him how when I was young, I was confused, and kissed a girl, and I now realize I had an attraction to the same sex (and it seems persitent to this day despite my desires against it). When I was young, I had no idea what I was doing and wasn't even aware of these feelings. I didn't understand it, and I still do not to this day. Despite my apparent attraction to the same sex, I never once had an interest in pursuing a relationship with a female. I feel that I am not consciously attracted to girls in any way. They don't interest me. It just is not my thing. Yet I feel differently on a more "sub-conscious" level (if that makes any sense). But since I was young and especially becoming a teenager, I ALWAYS felt more comfortable with a guy. I always wanted to have a boyfriend/husband and I have put myself through a lot of pain because of obsessive crushes over guys. Yet I've been feeling very depressed, guilty, and horrible lately because I feel that I get more aroused by the same sex than by the opposite. This has been EXTREMELY confusing to me considering the fact that I am not comfortable with even thinking about the same sex in any way.
But today, my mom found out about this CAH and it perfectly matches up with many problems that I've had since I was very young; the facial hair, growing so fast so early, hitting puberty at 10, menstrual problems, very intense stress issues, etc. She and I now feel completely certain that these feelings towards the same sex that I've had (which I just told her about last night) our caused by this issue. Because since I was young and even now, I NEVER ONCE felt comfortable thinking about the same sex and I always believed that it may have been a hormonal issue. It just didn't feel like me and/or like who I am as a person. Now it seems that I have proof.
I would just like to see if anyone can back me up on this and let me know that if I start treating this CAH problem, will my sexual attractions towards the same sex decrease and will sexual attraction for the opposite sex increase? This is what I truly hope to get out of my future treatment.
I'm just coming to terms with this now because despite my (still) young age, I am very much in love with the guy who I'm with and I am confident we will pursue a happy and healthy life together. He has been extremely supportive with this matter thus far and will definitely continue to be.
Until then, I need advice and help from those who I know are knowledgeable about this issue. I really appreciate any responses. I have been extremely troubled and have been mentally and physically torturing myself because of this for many years and I would like more closure to make me relax and just feel normal.
