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To be blunt, there are a lot of us out there with this problem (myself included) and I have yet to meet a doctor who takes the problem seriously. The first reproductive endo I saw (at age 18) told me to "stick my finger in it." The second one I saw (recently, at age 24) gave me a set of vaginal dilators and had me go to. She also charmingly suggested that the issue was in my head and gave me the name of a sex therapist, which I promptly tossed. While I'm not particularly happy with the dilators (you have to use them every day and they're not exactly comfortable), the doctor doesn't see the problem, thinks I'm making "great progress" (quotes added to emphasize my annoyance), and flatly refused to consider any alternative.
If you want to try the dilation route, you can either go see a gynecologist/reproductive endocrinologist or just get some vibrators in graduated sizes. They need to be used for 10 minutes minimum every day, working your way up as you feel comfortable. Alternatively, go see a doctor (or as many as it takes to get one to listen to you) about having the vaginal muscle cut (for a lot of women in our situation, it's actually the muscle that's too tight, not the opening). The doctor I saw recently said it came with "a whole other set of problems" but would not elaborate; it's something to investigate, at least.
Finally, about the relationship issue... I know it's never easy to hear when you're the single one, but there are guys out there who won't make a big deal out of it. My husband has been amazingly supportive of my whole ordeal and has known about it from fairly early in our relationship. Be open to other intimacy options - you'd be amazed what you can come up with when you're not worried about making Tab A fit Slot B, so to speak - while you figure out how you best feel comfortable handling your problem.
Remember, you're not alone and having this problem does not make you weird, freakish, or less of a woman (not to imply that you should feel that way, but I've experience all of those at one point or another). While the irony of most women's biggest problem being WHEN to have sex as opposed to our problem of HOW is not lost on me, we'll get through it, all of us. Somehow.
