Dear BA,
I've been reading some of your posts and I would disagree with the quote from the doctors in your first post.
I looked up the article and one of the references was from the surgeon that took away how I was made...small world.
I would of been better off left alone and being a teaching tool for male and female residents ruined me but maybe helped advance the knowledge about CAH ....yeah right.
They never took me as a kid into consideration and the Endo would say that he did his best but there was such a need a curiosity to fix? me when really all their paws on/in me was destroying to my boundaries besides destroying my identity and leaving nothing else but what they wanted.
The Ped Endo didn't even remember flinging my gown up so 12 med students could look at the clitorectomy and he tried to come off all I'm the kindly ped endo ....see because that is how he and my parents saw him. I on the other hand would go into a shell complete with a frozen smile to get through the violation. He didn't even remember the other times when I had to entertain one or two higher residents on my own with him only popping in to redo the exam in a quicker manner....HE did remember when he wisked in to flip my training bra up again as the resident watched ....see the resident had trouble with the bra and I had to pull it up then he measured it with a geometry ruler. The guy was wearing a red tie, had black hair and glasses - had the decency to hesitate pulling up my traning bra but the Endo came in and just flicked it up and then left. The Best Childrens Hospital in the Midwest and the sureon came in to check his work ...slide down on my finger. He though that he was a caring man and I thought he was a monster in a gold tie with blue polk a dots Go Blue?
I don't see what the rush is with these surgeries but my body belonged to them and forced into someone that I had no clue.
THEY do send people these day at that that best children's hospital to their shrink before they have to service the med students - so guess that makes it all better and the slicers do hold of on some surgeries ...so progress maybe AND they did send me an apology so they do get it but to late for me.
Everything you write speaks to me and interesting because SOMEONE THAT MATTERS within their CAH community WITHout CAH told me that how I feel isn't the norm but here you are.
Given a choice I would of decline all surgery and like you I remembered how I was born ....ha and even went to nursey school the way i was born.
What did me in was all the medical focus that ...child ...has big uterus ...What five year old needs a uterus? and that was it.
Thou shall do no harm doesn't apply but I can get drunk everynight and end it with pills which nobody would question or I came put that energy into something positive because life is short.
The Endo sent me a formal letter of apology besides crying which helped somewhat to hear him cry ....said he was humble now and the surgeon took it for awhile as I yelled at him....I found the monster in the blue tie and he said he "was saddened and medicine isn't always right but it is forever changing." They meant well and things are a little different this decade. Some parents will leave there kids alone but others can't when it comes to the surgeries.
My mind functioned with the genitals that I was born with and doesn't matter how good their surgeries are.
I had cancer and this is sad but I was happy because I ruined WHAT they tried so hard to create
BA - these parents will not see their kids in your posts or mine.
At the place where I serviced the residents and not a dime for me.... they do listen to the past and that is what medicine is.
One has to cut parents some slack as they need to have someone fix this for them.
good luck
