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I had a similar experience with being put on display after my surgery at age 10. I vividly remember what seemed like 20 interns gawking at me as the nurse spread my legs and the surgeon pointing and talking about me like I was in a specimen jar. I also remember the nurses kindness as I started to cry and she held my hand and told me to hold on tight and close my eyes. I certainly hope that doctors are more politically correct and sensitive these days but in 1967 they weren't.
I feared sex because I was afraid of not being normal, and my therapy believe it or not was to watch porn videos in order to see what "normal" was. I was 40 years old at this point. To my shock there is no "normal" which has relieved my anxieties a bit. After two husbands and two children, I still do not like the looks of my genitalia. I have normal sexual urges but for some reason have extreme difficulty sharing my body mentally with a man, and i have no doubt these feelings go back to that day when I was put on exhibit.
As to feeling, well I can still climax but I don't think that it happens the same way for me as for other women. My clitoris has some sensation but it is not earth shaking by any means. If I could turn back the pages of time, I would wish my parents did the vaginoplasty to open up my vagina and left my clitoris alone. I also have no hood or inner labia. Frankly, I would love to find a cosmetic surgeon to make my genitals look a little more normal but I am afraid that I would lose any more sensation. I did not become sexually active until 25 so there was plenty of time to grow into it or just decide that it was me and okay. I will never know now as that decision was made for me at age 10.
So yes, I did move on, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if things had been different. Please, parents, do the necessary to allow for menstruation but leave the cosmetic for at least the teenage years or adulthood.
