If the doctor thinks it is necessary then it probably is. I don't know of any doctor who would do that to a child just to get excited. Some people might think it is better to wait until they can decide for themselves that they want the surgery but then other people think waiting would be more traumatic. You are doing what you think is best for your child.
As for a stimulation test to check for feeling, as I don't think there is anything they can do if there is reduced feeling there really isn't much need for it even if it could be done. I don't think it is unethical, (they do erection tests on boys), you are just worried about your child.
There are many tests and treatments that may need to be done to a child that can be embarrassing or traumatic to a child. It doesn't just happen in CAH.
