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I'm not sure there is a "respectful" way to tell someone they don't know how to read. Luckily, I'm not offended easily. I work with 100 teenagers everyday and insults are a dime a dozen.
I'm pretty sure I read the original post on the main board correctly. It had two parts. ONE was asking if exams before puberty were needed, and TWO was about the whole electrode thing. Your first post back to her was NO and NO. You called both unethical. In my original post I agreed the whole electrode thing was crossing the ethical line, but disagreed that a vaginal exam before puberty was unethical. I just don't agree with your opinion on that, and wanted to bring to light that this exam is necessary in some cases.
I would also disagree that I have no idea what it is like to have this done as an 11 year old. Just because I don't have CAH, doesn't mean I didn't have a vaginal exam at an early age. I fell off the side of my pool when I was 10. Straddled the side, and had a tear in my vagina. Originally the doctor thought I would be alright and sent me home. Later I started bleeding huge clots, and had to have surgery to have it repaired. I had several follow-ups to see how everything was healing and to make sure there wasn't long term damage.
You see, I don't equate my pool incident with what you went through, just like you can't equate what you went through to me or my daughter. Everyone and every case is different. I never felt violated, and I don't think my daughter does either.
I am sorry you carry such a vivid memories of what sounds like scary and lonely times. I just think it important to not allow those personal memories inspire you to make blanket statements of what is right and what is wrong. That is going to be different for everone.
I realize I will never know what it feels to be you, but you are wrong about my desire to know. When you have children you would give your life for them. I would give anything to know she is happy, healthy, and knows the questions to ask to make her that way. I try to get into your head so I can be prepared about the possibilities and the road ahead.
