It is just after 5:00 am on Wednesday morning, we just made it through her morning blood draw....despite morphine, etc, just having her one free arm held down to get the blood was enough to upset my poor little baby, she is a thumb sucker to add to it, so they were not only holding her arm, but taking that precious thumb away from her...luckily it was rather quick and we could return to singing abc's and drinking Pedialyte...
It's been a long night, despite her calmness...I suppose it never once crossed my mind that we would be sharing a hospital room, especially considering my daughter's fragile condition, on one hand I understand that it is necessary to make the most of every inch possible here in this hospital that has proven to have healed so many children, on the other, selfishness sets in a little and I think that no matter how compassionate you are towards another's child, that your child will always and forever remain number one...thus my frustration...
I make myself understand that the mommy and daddy of the little girl right next to me are feeling the same way despite their smiles and comments of concern, of course they are, because they are only human, just like me...I am not angry at them, I know that they are not at me either....
I just want to ensure that my daughter's own privacy is respected, keeping comments more on the vague side when asked of her condition, regardless of their good intentions I remind myself that my little punkin is not big enough yet to fully express how she feels and I want to make sure that I do not expose things that she would rather not have exposed...
In ending in my very tired rambling, I again thank each and every person who has said a little prayer for my baby girl, I actually plan to visit the Chapel as soon as my husband returns...I look to the Lord for strength...we still are not completely in the clear, we have a road to recovery ahead of us...I continue to smile as always, no matter how many bandages and tubes...that little "Button" as I call her is my angel regardless...I continue to smile through the pain... she needs that more than the medecine right now...
God's Blessings to all,
