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thank you natalie. this is the first time in 6 years that i can talk to someone with the same situation as me. not having anyone in my own town that even has the condition, let alone having all three kids. i do feel stressed every single day but try to cope with every situation accordingly, but sometimes the smallest thing will tip me over. i resent my self so much for being like that and its all because i cant get past what happened at the beginning of what happened to my kids. my mother keeps telling me it could be worse and i agree but i have difficulties with how everything was handled from the outset and what was missed by doctors at different times before the diagnosis. how do i deal with that? who are cares and how do i contact them? you seem so kind it would be nice to tal to you properly!