I am really starting to struggle again with every thing

 

I'm on an extremely high set drugs flodrocort 400 a day hidro 70

I m just going around in cycles at the moment the middle of 2007 I tried to end it all I had enough of the pain being sick and sitting on the loo day and night.

 

I don't think I want to kill myself any more but I am so peed off with ever thing I want to work I can't my body gets stressed makes me ill going out now hurts as I'm having pain in my lower back keens and arms to the point where I'm popping pain kills like they sweets pulse head aces witch I never used to get

I fallen out with a so called fiend who things I should be working and not getting money from the government I keep trying to explain its not as easy as she thinks it she gets all huffy so do I and now lost another friend, I also missing being with so one but what do you do I know I'm lesbian and all my friends and family know I been out  for nearly 10 years  but when u look and sound like a bloke no one really wants to know. I all ways fill people are only friends with me so that they gets something form me  is doing my head in.

 I know there's not a miracle cure for what we have if they was be no need for this forma but they must be seeming to make my life a little easier I can't keep going on the way I am or I'm going to back in the same boat as last year .

 

If the pain the filling sick and sitting on the loo 247 could stop and my body dint get so stressed  maybe I could do more then I do now, I love photography  but they only so much you can do sitting in your own home.

Any way that the ramblings of a mad person any one with any ideas ???? please.!!!

becky:(

becky

whats going on : becky (Jan. 10th, 2008   4:33pm )
Rick : re: becky (Jan. 10th, 2008   4:36pm )
Kathy : re: re: becky (Jan. 11th, 2008   4:56am )