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re: re: National Domestic Violence Hotline....
Feb. 24th, 2008 7:30am

Ang, Did you do the right thing? Would you walk with your child or by yourself through a mine field? Would you try and cross a buisy highway during rush hour? Then why would you stay with an abuser? Because that is what you are doing every time he is around you. You are taking that risk, not only with yourself but with your child. The hard part about leaving is that the abuser manipulates their abused into believing they are nothing without them. They promise it will never happen again, not because they are sorry. They say they are sorry because they are now in fear their actions will get them caught and put in jail. It has NOTHING to do with YOU, it has EVERYTHING to do with the abuser. Control is the bottom line. I am sorry to say, it isn't love that keeps him with you, it is control. He may not even recognize that himself. Sometimes when you are in a situation looking from the inside out, it is hard to see just how difficult your life is. Once you escape the abuser, you will look from the outside in and see the danger your life was in. Another thing to consider is your child. Many times a child that is raised in an abusive family, even though he or she is NOT abused, takes on that violence in a different level. You staying with this man gives permission to your child that it is ok to do this. If you have a girl, she will think it is ok to be abused. If you have a boy, they will think it is ok to abuse his girlfriends, to wife. Leaving an abuser, breaks the cycle. Look on line when he is not around. The many websites for domestic violence are available to you. Here is your life saver thrown to you. Take it and hang on to it. The help you get today, may be the help that saves your life tomorrow:

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
(taken from a website I found:)
Domestic abuse is a pattern of behavior used to establish and maintain power or control over a domestic partner or family member. The behavior may include acts of violence, intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and control the other person. Although the violence may not happen often, the potential for violence is constantly present as a terrorizing factor.
Abuse may not always leave the victim with bruises or broken bones, it does always leave emotional scars whether the victim is an infant, child, spouse, or elderly parent.