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I wouldn't agree with lacing it into the shoelaces due to the likelihood of it being lost/missed in the event of an accident. I myself have been through the same issues with sport, and the best thing you can do is to put your foot down. Refs have a right to throw you off the pitch if you're wearing jewellery that is potentially hazardous to other players - if it's not, like the velcro band in question, they're just trying to exert power that they don't have, and the only way to overcome that is to refuse point blank on health grounds.
